I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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