This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
