hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize