Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
