I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize