His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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