I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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