you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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