Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
