My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
