Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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