I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
