I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
