Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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