Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
