just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize