My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
