So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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