Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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