I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
