What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
