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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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