i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
