Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The Olympian is in my bed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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