he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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