standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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