Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I just went to clothing optional bar
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
