My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
they're like a gay fantastic four
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize