this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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