I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
