Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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