He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
