That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize