Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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