Just fell off a train. Bad.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
