it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
