check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
