waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
