so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
