Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I understand Curling. That high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
