do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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