he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
