I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
