My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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