he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
