then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
