Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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