please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
