Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
