ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
