He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
