dude i'm inner monologue high
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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