you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
