I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
