wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
