I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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