he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
