I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize