Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
