Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
