i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Floor bacon is actually really good
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
