It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
