yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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