Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
