Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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