): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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