So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
