my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
