i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So many bounce houses so little time
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
