Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
