eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
why is half of my head shaved?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
