Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Mom said you looked used
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
