dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
