come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
