so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
