Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
