I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
