SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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