Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
