she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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