the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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