So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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