you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't deserve a penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
