dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
