Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
