we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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