you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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