So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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