She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry about my life...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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