What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
