So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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